The Lessons Morocco Taught Me

On a cold night in Paris just after fashion week, I met a handsome Moroccan man and his friend in a cafe near St. Michel, not my usual hang out but I was clearly there for a reason. 

This story isn’t about falling in love, but there was love and it’s not about a man although there was a man. It’s about a beginning. So there I was in my late twenties, enthralled by a man I just met who was witty and smart but who was also kind of arrogant and just a tourist and my assumption was I would never see him again. Then he whispered the words I’d come to understand were more about a culture than a budding romance “Come to Morocco, I’ll show you around”. Now, I am not usually the type to indulge a strange man’s invitation to a foreign country but hear me out: It was March, that time of the year in Paris where you’re months and months into cold, grey, drizzly, mess your hair up weather and I was sick of it. I brushed the invitation aside until May when it was still cold, still grey, still drizzly and I was in need of sunshine. I set all my better judgement aside, sent my friend in California a pin, avoided my mother’s calls, grabbed a plane ticket and let a strange man show me around Morocco for a week. 

I fell in love immediately, with the country, but nothing really sells you on Morocco quite like a 5am sky full of stars and the Adan in the background. I never wanted to leave but I did – for 4 months. Life got complicated, Paris didn’t feel safe for me at that time but Morocco did. So I fled, to what felt safe and right and good. And here’s what I learned. 

Spirituality on 10

Everyday in Morocco is filled with moments to be with God. 5 times a day you hear Imam’s melodic Adan starting with “Allahu Akbar” thus, even if you aren’t Muslim it is a reminder to be present, to be with God in whatever form you believe. If these five times a day aren’t enough to quench your thirst for connection to a higher being, everyday conversation will satiate you. A simple, “How are you doing?” will be met in return with “Hamdoullah” (or “Thank God”) serving as a reminder that yes, thank God I woke up today, despite my trials and tribulations, my daily life problems, thank God I get to live the life I live. Saying “see you soon” will be met with “Inshallah” (or “God willing”) the perfect end cap or truth to the statement. Yes, if God wills it I will see you soon, or get to my destination or have a full stomach tomorrow. Everything is centered around the presence of a higher power and if yours isn’t Allah, even if yours doesn’t exist, a Moroccan will welcome you and offer that reminder, in the most respectful way. 

Less is More

Unlike some of the images you see across travel influencers on social media, Morocco is a country with a healthy middle class and country of great wealth. Like anywhere it also struggles with poverty and what you can see is that those who have less often give more. Some of the most hospitable interactions I’ve ever had in Morocco came from those who had significantly less than me. A man selling roadside goods insisted my mom, grandmother and I came in for (my favorite) beef and artichoke tajine with his wife and daughter. He had no expectations in return, just to share a moment with people visiting his country and an offer of hospitality. While all Moroccans are generous and hospitable beyond comprehension, what I have learned from my time there is that there is a concept that is also deeply rooted in Islam, your material goods are temporary and meant to be shared and the ones who seem to share more than you could image are those with, to us, seemingly have the least. Which means we can all 1. Afford to do with less and 2. Be a little more generous with our time, our resources and our homes.

Inshallah as a Rule of Law

If Morocco teaches you nothing, it will teach you patience. Inshallah permeates daily life, which is beautiful but when you are working on God’s time you learn that patience is a virtue. Life moves slower in Morocco most of the time for the better and sometimes (as with any place) for the worse. As a relatively laid back person and someone who is frequently running on her own clock, the freedom of no one blinking an eye when you’re an hour late to your own birthday is unmatched. In return when you are trying to work within administration or create samples for your fashion collection that needs to be ready before you leave on a plane for Fashion Week, it’s a bit terrifying. Understanding you are a guest in this place is the first rule and learning to work within this slower life system helps you immensely for everything from business to administration and everyday life. You learn what are the truly important things to you and what really doesn’t matter one bit and that patience is indeed a virtue.

Nature Truly Heals

Being in a big city like Casablanca you would think that you would be far removed from nature and it’s true healing powers but I was lucky enough to have access to a lot of Morocco outside the business epicenter that is Casablanca. 45 minutes north you find Bouznika beach, one of my absolute favorite Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday or Monday activities. As a pisces the crashing waves and turquoise waters of Bouznika suit me well and heal my spirit, while the Moroccan sunshine feeds me the vitamin D my caramel colored skin needs to survive! Paddle boarding and oysters in the small town of Ouladia brought me back to life after any trial I faced, wandering through the souks and dessert market in Ouarzazate brought me back to my creativity and the fresh sea food and gentle waters of Dakhla healed me as I grieved profound loss. 

Beyond the landscapes, the freshness of the produce and meat you will find in Morocco is healing. Is it the consciousness of the “Bismillah” (“in the name of God” : an invocation used by Muslims at the beginning of an undertaking) whispered before a meal or the fruit and veggies that have been left on the vine long enough to mature into ugly but delicious confections that don’t leave you in need of cake or ice cream after a meal or maybe it’s the earth and the way it’s cultivated or the relationships you build with your butcher, olive sales man and local fruit vendor. Whatever it is I distinctly remember a friend of mine saying: “you’re the only person to ever come to Morocco and lose weight” and trust me I ATE everything all the time. Maybe the sunshine, maybe the sea, maybe the quality of the produce or relationships, who knows but I can confirm that nature does heal in whatever form. 

Closeness Keeps the Devil Away

The concept of personal space and being alone was foreign in my Moroccan experience. I remember clearly how many of my friends and their mothers were worried about the fact that I lived alone and not the potential danger of it (I can assure you I’ve never felt safer in a place) but the fact that I must be lonely and oh mskina (poor girl) we can’t have that! 

First stepping into this community driven culture is a bit overwhelming, especially for this only child. At a certain point the invitations to couscous, weddings, Eid and the mosque become overwhelming. I’ve always considered myself a social person even if I am a bit reserved but Morocco is level expert pro of socializing. My first invitation to the mosque came during the “Night of Destiny” in Ramadan (the holy month in the Islamic calendar) and I was taught that this night was the most powerful night because if you go to the mosque to pray all your sins for the year are forgiven. I also learned, in this moment, the cultural context for everything I had experienced up until this point. When praying in the mosque you find women getting closer and closer to you because as I learned “closeness keeps the devil away”. To me, this explained the reason for the tight 3-8 kisses you receive when greeted by your closest girlfriends, the lack of personal space in a line, the 10 chairs around a table that in the US would be meant for 4. While I know that this totality of the closeness isn’t simply to keep the devil out, it gave context to the, what sometimes felt like, lack of personal boundaries throughout the country. 

These interactions showed me that valuing those around you is truly important and physical closeness is part of that expression. While I still value my own space, I love nothing more than having someone in it to share long talks, funny stories, stupid movies and delicious food with. 

Organized Chaos

Everything about my time in Morocco taught me about the beauty of organized chaos. The first touch point I had was waiting in line at an administration office trying to export goods to the US. Rather than the formal line I was used to in the US or France, one behind the other and if you try to cut the line someone will surely cuss you out, this was a mass of humans all gathered around the final destination, no obvious organization to my occidental eye and yet every single person in that line knew when was next, where each person needed to go and helped them there as “next” echoed through the room of people. No ropes, no numbers, no organization as I had previously known but absolute precision organization in its own respect.

Driving is similar to this and I must admit, I will take driving in Morocco to driving in France any day of the week. Lines are simple suggestions, lights sometimes serve as decorations and if you are on the route national, watch out for sheep crossing. The first time I witnessed my taxi driving with the white line separating the lanes dead center his cab I knew I love this country. And it’s not a blatant disrespect of the “rules” put in place nor is it one person acting out of character but rather a collective dance of cars swerving, flashing their lights and waving others through that is coordinated like a delightful symphony. 

To be honest I have never felt more at home in a place than living in Morocco. It was like upon arrival I found my people and myself. I was embraced and continue to be embraced with open arms and hearts and often find myself homesick for a country that is not my own. The slow life, the inshallahs, the desire to have those I love with me and around me at all times is something I connect with on a soul level.