Recently, a friend texted me saying “Honey, let’s go to Majorca to celebrate Dan’s birthday. You in?”. My immediate reaction was “100%”, without an ounce of hesitation. I knew none of the details, not the plan, not the list of people going, nothing and it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable and healing trips I’ve been on to date (and that’s saying a lot because I once spent two weeks in the middle of nowhere Brazil meditating). 

The invite came from a friend I don’t get to see often, someone I consider by all accounts my best friend. She and I grew up together, in a sense, meeting 16 years ago, when we were just 21 and 22 in Paris. She moved back to Italy seven years ago or so and with time and distance we just don’t get to see each other on a daily or weekly basis like we used to, even our yearly trips being reduced to a mere memory as time and life unfolded. This, plus it being our mutual friend’s birthday made the trip a resounding yes for me immediately. 

What I didn’t know when accepting the invitation was that the trip would include twelve other relative and complete strangers. As someone who is not all the time shy and not all the time outgoing but a healthy combination of the two the trip sounded like fun but not without potential complications. Spoiler alert: a great time was had by all. 

Getting back from this long weekend I made some observations about my time and how I spent it so I was curious to dig in deeper as to the importance of spending time with friends and second degree connections. Here is what I learned.

Disconnecting to Connect: A Massive Decline in Screen Time

Like most vacations, we spend less time on our phones because we are enjoying the sites, experiencing new things and just off the sofa much more than in our daily lives. The exception when there are fourteen people around a dinner table or a pool for four days in a row is that there is always someone to talk to and get to know, there is always an interesting conversation happening and there is always a laugh to be had. 

In having these laughs, conversations and interactions you are forced to put your phone away and focus on the person in front of you. That isn’t to say that from time to time you won’t be on your phone but the significance was astonishing. My screentime dropped 89% over that weekend and it felt freeing. 

Healthy Doses of Dopamine: Laughter as a Form of Medicine

Laughing until it hurts, forming inside jokes that will be funny for years to come, these are the ultimate dopamine boosters. While social media apps all compete for our undivided attention by draining us of our dopamine, the facts remain that true human connection remains unmatched. 

There are even massive health benefits to spending time in these types of social situations including but not limited to, increased longevity, lowering stress and rates of depression, improving immune system function, cognition and cardiovascular health. Studies have shown that people with strong social ties had a 50% higher life expectancy rate than those without. A rate that is similar to quitting smoking. 

Beyond physical health, strong social bonds help us with cognitive function, reducing the risk of dementia through conversation and reading social cues. It also lowers risk of depression and anxiety significantly by interrupting the rumination or depression cycles that lead to these responses. 

Meeting new people, forming new bonds and reinforcing old ones are some of the best ways to keep you alive and kicking for many years to come. Friend groups and getaways like this, literally help heal you. 

Creating Memories IRL and Creative Inspiration

Having ridiculous memories you can pull from for years to come is one of the most positive outcomes of a trip with friends. Something to laugh about on a bad day, a moment together that will remind you of why you were friends in the first place during an argument, something to gossip about over drinks and a reminder to plan another trip to build more memories. There are few things that are more important. 

Memories created also help ignite the creative spark. Getting out of your daily routine, out of your surroundings and even out of your comfort zone leads to some serious creative output. Nothing refreshes the creative juices quite like feeding your senses, laughter and new interactions. 

New interactions also lead to new opportunities. When learning about others you may be inspired by their story, their business or just their being which can also lead to positive creative outcomes, career momentum and new opportunities to try your hand at. 

While a trip of fourteen people maybe a bit excessive, gathering your girlfriends and guy friends for a bit of good old fashioned fun will do your mind, body and soul a lot of good.