Dear Rita,
I am a 26 year old woman who is completely freaking out right now. I spent over $1,000 on flights to go see a man I met on vacation a few months ago. He was so sweet and attentive and we have been talking every day since we met until about a week ago, long after I booked my non-refundable flight from New York to Düsseldorf. I definitely should’ve been smarter about this whole situation but he was so reassuring when we made the plans. He also knew I was buying and had bought the tickets.
In the last week, he has been distant and weird and not talking to me as much. Then yesterday he called me and said that he had met a girl who he is serious about and that he won’t be seeing me when I come to visit NEXT WEEK. Beyond the flights we had a plan that I would stay with him, and I quote “Don’t worry about accommodation, you can stay with me.” but obviously that’s no longer possible.
In this phone call I asked him to pay for some of the cost of the tickets, since we both planned this together, to which he refused and is now no longer answering my calls or texts.
I feel heartbroken and really stupid. I know I am smarter than this but I really liked this guy and apparently all my sense ran out the door with my crush. I really don’t know what to do about the trip, I may not even go, it seems like a huge waste at this point and maybe it’s better to just lose the money and stay home. I really don’t know what to do so any advice you have would be very much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Broke and Broken
Dear Broke,
First things first, this is not the end of the world. $1,000 over a lifetime isn’t going to wreck you and I know it feels bad right now but one day you will look back and be able to tell this story as you laugh alongside your girlfriends. This money may feel like a lot right now but you were able to make it work when there was a man involved so let’s make it work without one.
Now, what to do with your trip. There are a few options so fret not. Option one, go on the trip, maybe see if a girlfriend can come with you and spend 1 night in Düsseldorf and no more. The Backstreet Boys will be in concert there next week so plan on getting a ticket to that. I know you are a bit young for them but the millennial girlies and early 00’s pop music will heal your soul in the exact way you need it to right now. Then as fast as you can get out of Germany. Not that it’s not a lovely country but it’s not what your spirit needs at this moment in time, plus it’s more expensive than some other options. The best thing about Europe is that once you are here flights are cheap and lucky for you there are no holidays during your visit so no surge pricing. Make your way to Spain or Portugal where your dollar will go further. Accommodation is cheaper, food is better and the sun will still be shining. This is where you can rest, relax and mend your broken heart. Maybe your train ticket isn’t refundable but changeable and you can head to Austria early and enjoy the rolling hills and beautiful architecture of Vienna. Whatever the case I think it’s important to make this trip about you and use the budget to your advantage, with the options available. Maybe you know someone in Europe that you can stay with to make things easier on your wallet.
Option two is to stay at home and lose the money, all over a man. It is an option and I understand that budgets are tight but Broke, it doesn’t sound like the right option. It seems like you need to turn this negative experience into an epic adventure.
You know that this was a bad decision and this is a valuable lesson to learn at a young age. Never do anything for a man you aren’t in a relationship with, especially spend money. Not to say that a trip to see this shady operator wasn’t a good idea but next time there is a man in a foreign country, plan the trip around the country and keep the man as a bonus. Honestly honey, in any situation, plan your life around your fun, your adventures and keep a man as a bonus. They shouldn’t be the stars of the show when we are actually the bright shining objects in the galaxy.
You may be temporarily broke but you are certainly not broken. So chin up doll, because I think you might just have the European adventure of a lifetime. At the very least you will have a great story in the books.
– Rita Fairchild
The author of this advice column is not a trained professional and the above advice is for entertainment purposes only. All names and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy. The opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views or opinions of Osé Magazine or Osé Omni Media.
