Dear Rita,
I am a 36 year old woman in Iowa and one of my best friends is getting married next week. I am genuinely very excited for her and I have been there for each exciting milestone and pre wedding activity.
I have been building my career brick by brick and recently received a job offer at another company that is very exciting. The manager at my current company has been quite difficult about my departure and made my notice period a living hell, including cancelling the time off that was already approved for my friend’s wedding. He is claiming I need to be in the office for a client visit.
I’m honestly feeling so overwhelmed with everything happening all at once and this is the last thing I needed. What scares me most is that my friend might not understand the situation and could be upset with me or even stop talking to me. Also, I really don’t want to miss her big day. We’ve been through so much together and I really just want to be there and celebrate her and her husband to be. I feel totally helpless.
Sincerely,
Helpless and Heartsick in Iowa
Dear Helpless,
Maybe it’s my years on this planet or the recent wave of matriarchy that swept your country that, with all due respect, is making me wonder what the actual question is. You have given your notice sweetpea, you have a new job, you already had the approval for the time off. Just go! What is the worst thing they do? Fire you? You’re already out of there and if they do you can collect unemployment.
I understand you want to be a good employee but I must say that being a good friend is going to pay higher dividends than a crappy job you’re leaving behind. If you’re worried about losing money, get a doctor’s note and say you’re sick. But please in the year where Keisha Lance Bottoms, Deb Haaland, Gina Hinojosa and countless other women are in positions of power across your nation, let a man keep you from celebrating your friend.
While I don’t suspect the money is the issue here, I think you are one of those hardworking Millennials who doesn’t want to let anyone down and while that’s a great trait to have, it’s leaving you overwhelmed. Here the choice is simple and straightforward; you are excited to celebrate your friend’s big life milestone and your sad little boss is just looking to exert the only power he has in his life to make yours miserable. The simple truth of life is, no matter how hard we try, we will always be the villain in someone else’s story. So I beg you, embrace your villain era, Helpless, it will get rid of the overwhelm real quick.
As for your friend, if she’s upset it is what it is and that’s what happens in friendships. It’s ok for someone to be upset with you. If she stops talking to you, that’s sad but it shows she wasn’t your friend in the first place if she can’t understand the situation. That being said you should go to this wedding no question for no other reason than, you’re really excited to go.
I get that your career is important but truly, you have nothing to lose in this situation. Go to the wedding, have the time of your life and don’t give work a second thought. We only have so many trips around the sun, it’s important you spend them doing what you want.
So Helpless, sounds like you have the flu and *cough* *cough* can’t come to work next week. Enjoy every second!
– Rita Fairchild
